Sunday, April 23, 2006

how should i be

i used to believe that target setting motivates people to strive and excel. it provides direction so i will not be lost along my way. it gives me the sense of satisfaction if i manage to achieve my targets. i will spend every single minute with a purpose because i know that i have to prepare myself and get working towards what i want. since it has advantages, it puzzles me why this belief has been shaken? to put it simply, my job is to hit the daily target set by my boss. we all are anxious to finish the whole project as soon as possible in our fastest possible speed. in the midst of anxiety, people started to turn ugly. people are more concerned with hitting their own individual targets than teamwork. everyone is getting stressed out and tensed when we see the work piling up everyday. the higher it goes, the stronger the desire to finish them. somehow we have forgotten to be sensitive to our environment. rude comments were made but that dont bother me much. however the lack of compromise and understanding among us is getting on my nerves sometimes. luckily my anger only lasted for a few moments in the room and i have not blew up yet.

it has been a long time since i felt this amount of fear in me. i may have sounded calm but the truth is, my hands were shaking when i made the call. i knew at that time nobody would help me. true enough nobody offered their help despite i looking damn helpless except for this guy. in the end i rejected his help. i was all alone with her in my arms. i knew i cant let her go. fortunately, everything is fine now and i am glad she is recovering and receiving professional treatment. please be a good girl and recover soon ok? although this incident only lasted for a night, i left a deep impact on me. it reassures me how important a friend she is to me. she is so involved in my life that she is like one of my family members. my family knows her very well and never fails to ask about her occassionally.

next week is another busy week for me. happy working!!
"treasure before it is gone"

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